Against All Reason
I blatantly acted against all reason and what I know to be true: I applied for a library card.
I have a real problem getting books back on time and it's not a new phenomenon. My first memory of getting in punishable trouble is hearing my mother yell my first and middle names from the base of the stairs. I sheepishly slid down each step on my rump, looking at my mother, and wondering how many stairs I would have to descend before she decided I was close enough to reprimand. She was holding a letter,
Jessica Michelle, why didn't you return your library books on time?! I asked you about this weeks ago! Go upstairs and get them! THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN!
Little did she know that not only would it happen again and again and again but that I would later seal a book from my university library and use it to anonymously seduce a corduroy blazered professor.
On the phone last night I told my mom about my new library card and my new library book (an account of working as a prep cook for Mario Batali titled Heat) and reminisced about my age six mismanagement of fairy tales. She laughed and said,
The one I'll never forget is when I tried to use my library card for the first time after you moved to Chicago and the librarian looked up at me and said, You do know that you have a $47 overdue fine that will have to be paid before you can check out any books. I almost fainted.
I had forgotten that one. I guess it's the whole "History is written by the winners" thing.
I have a real problem getting books back on time and it's not a new phenomenon. My first memory of getting in punishable trouble is hearing my mother yell my first and middle names from the base of the stairs. I sheepishly slid down each step on my rump, looking at my mother, and wondering how many stairs I would have to descend before she decided I was close enough to reprimand. She was holding a letter,
Jessica Michelle, why didn't you return your library books on time?! I asked you about this weeks ago! Go upstairs and get them! THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN!
Little did she know that not only would it happen again and again and again but that I would later seal a book from my university library and use it to anonymously seduce a corduroy blazered professor.
On the phone last night I told my mom about my new library card and my new library book (an account of working as a prep cook for Mario Batali titled Heat) and reminisced about my age six mismanagement of fairy tales. She laughed and said,
The one I'll never forget is when I tried to use my library card for the first time after you moved to Chicago and the librarian looked up at me and said, You do know that you have a $47 overdue fine that will have to be paid before you can check out any books. I almost fainted.
I had forgotten that one. I guess it's the whole "History is written by the winners" thing.
posted by Jessica at 17:48
3 Comments:
I love that story. I stole a book once. In fact it was the first thing I ever stole.
Remember in grade school how they'd have a book fair and they'd have all the books spread out in the cafeteria and they gave you little pamphlets? I must have check off every one of them, gave it to my mom and was promptly notified to go to the library.
So, I slipped a book under my shirt and hid it in the bushes and went back for it after school.
It was Stormy, Misty's Foal and I kept it in my fort for years.
That is a wonderful story. And so fitting (I'm assuming from the title that is was about a horse).
Yes it's a story about a storm heading for the Chincoteague Islands and a pony named Misty who has a foal during the storm. And it goes like this...
"Wrap up good now. Winds bitter." Grandma said. "I got to brew some sassafras roots to perten ye up."
There was a whole serious of the horse books. Sea Star. Misty's Twilight. Mustang: Wild Spirit of the West. Brighty of the Grand Canyon. Hey, on my blog there is a new addition, Julie has a blog and it's femmedeterre, you'll see it.
Quite a fire going on near her house.
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