A Coffee Dilemma

Now that the lion's share of the surveying is complete the office is an unavoidable part of my life, which means it's time to nest. I need to make this space my own so I can be comfortable and calmly proficient. The first order of business was to carve out a place for myself in the engineering office; it's supposed to be my personal den of tidy organization  (except for the messy drawer, which acts as a necessary balance to the order) but in my absence it was taken over by the savages. After a little work, it's mine again. Next was the coffee station, which I've decided is mine to manage by several rights:

no one else has taken ownership of it
I have hundreds of slammed brunch shifts under my belt and therefore have the most experience brewing coffee
I have the most developed palate (a combination of working in several Chicago restaurants and dating an affluent Berkeley foodie)

My self-appointed reign as coffee queen has not been met with overwhelming support.

Them: You make the coffee too strong.

Me: Then water it down.

Them: The coffee tastes burnt.

Me: The coffee isn't on a burner. It's not burnt. It tastes bitter. Try a little sugar.

Them: You don't need to use that many grounds.

Me: The package says two tablespoon per cup. I'm using half of that.

And they call themselves men? Big strong Seabees at that? They should be ashamed.

But they're not ashamed and they're persistent, too, so I have a new strategy: I brew the coffee my way and instead of telling everyone the coffee is ready I pour their first cups and water it down.

So far so good. I haven't had one complaint today.