Chapter 3 of How Not to Put Your Wife's Mind at Ease*

This morning:

The craziest thing happened this morning. I woke up to a bear on this side of the electric fence.

What?!

Yeah, I woke up to a weird noise and so I hopped up out of my sleeping bag and went to the window and saw a bear on my side of the fence. He kept nosing the fence and then jumping back when he got shocked.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

No. And so then he decided if he was stuck on this side of the fence he might as well see what was here so he started inspecting my porch and came up to my door so I blew the air horn in his face and he took a leap back and then jumped through the wires of the fence to the other side. I had to go fix the fence after that.

I cannot believe that.

It was really easy to fix.

That’s good.

Yeah, it was pretty crazy.


I didn't think to ask him why he chose the air horn over the shot gun.


*For Chapter 2 see comments on previous post.