Myth Busters

In boot camp they told us that if we wore our contacts into the gas chamber the CS gas would permanently fuse our eyeballs to our contacts. We weren’t allowed contacts at all in boot camp so the warning seemed especially ominous and because of that everyone I know in the Navy believes it to be true. The thing is, I don’t buy the story. If that was the case you would think that every time the police used CS gas for riot/crowd control we would hear stories on the 6 o’clock news about dozens of folks with contact-eyeball fusion.

So, to get to the bottom of it, about an hour or two ago I intentionally found my way to the Discovery Channel Myth Busters web site. Per web etiquette I read the posts containing guidelines for submission of myths to the forum. The requirements were pretty simple: it must be provable by the scientific method, it must be reproducible, and it must be a myth that lots of people have heard. I felt that I met the criteria so I posted.

There were also warnings that forum regulars could be vicious with their responses. I was ready.

My forum experience is limited to knitting web sites which, I’ve just learned, don’t get that much traffic. I had no idea how many people would be hanging out on a Saturday night at the Myth Busters web site. I’m happy to report that at press time I’ve received 43 viewings and eights posts (two of which are mine, so I guess six is more like it) but no one has bothered to approach the physics of the idea. The posts are full of people asking me if I could get prescription inserts (I can, they’re uncomfortable, and they’re ugly) or LASIK (I’m on the list but there is a two-year wait). I’m disappointed. Maybe my knight in shining armor will still show up.